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^^^ You'll like this, JJB.
I went to Morries this afternoon and the man on the hot pies and pasties counter was marking down his wares. I picked up a bag of steak bakes and he said " Who said you could take those?"
ME " Oh, please can I have them, I'm only little"
HIM (who is very tall) " You're what??
ME "Little"
HIM "You could have said you were Old"
ME , pointing to my hair" "I'm not old, this is a wig"
HIM " Looks like a pot of white paint fell on your head!".
ME "You're so rude. I'll have some chicken bakes as well for that!".

I can just imagine it.
They must see you coming in Morries at discount time..........and hide!