Festive Funnies

This one made me smile


My Wife the Gardener
~ Peter (poem in old magazine)

She dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
She forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
She planted roses Tuesday –
she says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but she quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess she really was engrossed –
she never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours she adores,
It never bothered her at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My wife can garden all she wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH THE SPADE

I can relate to that.

haha that's how it is in my house too haha

I thought it very appropriate to P & I, then thought 'how very sexist, put your own washing on' I think it might have been written in a different era

Amended version. I wrote a different last line but thought I'd be banned. 

He dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
He forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
He planted roses Tuesday –
He says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but he quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess he really was engrossed –
he never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours he adores,
It never bothered him at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My hsband can garden all he wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH MY HUSBAND and His SPADE 

Amended version. I wrote a different last line but thought I'd be banned. 

He dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
He forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
He planted roses Tuesday –
He says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but he quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess he really was engrossed –
he never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours he adores,
It never bothered him at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My hsband can garden all he wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH MY HUSBAND and His SPADE 

I KNOW what I/you would have put and it would have been funnier though!

   

Little Grey Fergie!

https://youtu.be/glT7-7wayrM

Now I know why you've grown your beard.

Now I know why you've grown your beard.

Getting there,got a ways to go yet though!