What Won't You Have in the Garden?

I like being a bit different. I have a striped lawn but they are curvy stripes following the curvy edges. 

At the allotment I have done away with curves and have straight lined beds of various sizes and angles.

I wouldn't have a large red Acer Palmatum, as my neighbour has one and I don't like to copy.

I wouldn't have privet of Lawsons Cypress but have a few box plants, one of which I am trying to shape into an Easter Island head.

JJB, you've always been "different". Maybe you'll grow out of it when you're a big girl.

In 100 yrs maybe but I don't intend growing up.  I'm big enough thankyou

No striped lawn or conifers for me either. I abhor straight lines too, although my husband loves them. As I  do most of the gardenning very little is neat. I hide when he appears with a measuring tape and spirit level.
No children generally, although exceptions can be made on odd occasions such as picking their own pumpkins for Halloween or to help themselves to fruit. (I must be getting soft in my old age).

It's the tape, spirit level AND shears or hedge trimmers I'm afraid of.  P with pruning implements is a terrifying thing. 

I know what you mean, JJB. Growing up is for sensible people and I can't think of anything worse than being "sensible".

Topiary!! Bushes clipped into artificial shapes - can be amusing but not in my garden.

I really want some!!

I bought myself 45 taxus bare root last Oct so that I could get some evergreens in my garden and pretend I was edwina scissorhands....I've planted them up in MFB ....now I'm not sure what to do!

My planting is very much "cottage garden" but my borders are all straight as are my paths - I would would really hate curved beds. I think it's a bit "in" at the moment.

What doesn't belong here are big grass plants - I have a few. A friend loves them and always give them as gifts! I haven't the heart to say I'm not keen.

How about chess pieces since you enjoyed Queen's Gambit?
or those huge yew hedges in ?Powys castle that are like the Forth bridge in terms of clipping.

https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/powis-c...g-at-powis

VC you know me so well! Been googling chess pieces. If only I could do it!

Can I add Pampas grass to my list of No-Nos please?

Japanese knotweed and Rhubarb is big no-no here...

You all may not like our garden. Its a shared space for our family. We normally have primary kids galore followed but 16-18s in evenings. The social garden has a 4 person swingframe, 12' trampoline, summertime 12' swimming pool, 16' fish pond, hot tub and rectangle patio. But I love my old drystone walls, hazels, adding native hedging and mini orchard area with strawberries underneath.

We had to remove diseased dead cherry, a large hawthorn lost in winds and a huge wobbly conifer, but are left with ancient elderberry, ancient apple, sycamore, ash and a large privet run that we topped off. I don't really like the privet but the Blackbirds have quite a few nests in there.