I love Squirrels!

Suggestions please!!   I am an animal lover but hate grey squirrels...so far they have taken all bar 10 apples left on my 60 year old apple tree, eaten my cherries and figs (which i might add were netted) Dug up my little rhubarb plants and used the pots to dust bath in and destroyed 6 squirrel proof bird feeders that we have put extra wire on to stop them breaking in.  
To top it off last year I waited and waited for my spring bulbs to bob up and nothing... I waited another month or two thinking maybe they were late coming through, soooo wrong....little grey bleepers had eaten my bulbs and replaced them with 3 well dug in conkers!!  not impressed.  The nice weather earlier in the year has meant they have been more successful than ever this year, the other day I counted 8 of them frolicking in the garden, I swear they were laughing and flicking the v's at me.  They are driving me nuts and I have now resorted to thoughts of an unsavory kind.... https://www.wildmeat.co.uk/blogs/news/sq...uld-try-it
Unfortunately my other half is a real bunny huger and will not even squish the odd fly!!   so going down the eating road is not an option, unless i do a chicken surprise dish for him!!   

Muah ha ha!!