I can feel another experimiment coming on!

I've grown quinoa a couple of years now. It looks like large fat hen plants. It's a bit fiddly to harvest but Ok listening to the radio or music, don't know about watching TV as don't have one.
You could try mint teas, not quite the same as coffee. Some are a bit wishy washy but I got a good one off my son which is now growing in a bath so plenty of it. It is probably Morroccan. My daughter has started drinking nettle tea so I keep a patch short so she can have young shoots.
I don't think I want to give up coffee though. The quantities i buy don't weigh too much and being fair trade, it's supporting the farmers there. Machu Pichu and Kilimanjaro as places I would have liked to visit but don't think you should travel long distances.