I can feel another experimiment coming on!

Aaahhhhhh - the whole salmon incident!
In Morries a couple of years ago and they had a heap of whole salmon, in bags that had been marked down. It was nearly closing time and I knew they'd be marked down further, so I loitered nearby.
Out came the fishmonger and so did a lady who didn't speak much English - just shouted "I want, I want". She pushed the fishmonger aside and grabbed all the fish he'd just reduced. There was a tug-of-war with a salmon as the fishman wanted to give it to me (patiently standing by, waiting) and she didn't want to part with it.
Suddenly, the fish bag split and the salmon leapt out of the bag and slithered across the floor.
I'm trying not to laugh!
Angry Fishman scoops it up off the floor and asks her if she still wants the fish. To my amazement, she did!!
Fishman passes me all the remaining salmon (4 or 5) that he hadn't yet marked down and takes the unbagged salmon behind the counter, where he washed it and rebagged it! He thrust it at the woman and told her that was all she could have. Then he took the ones I was minding and marked them right down to about £1. Then he filleted them and portioned them up for me.
I honestly thought the woman was going to mug me in the carpark!