Compact fruit tree recommendations

This little mind has already decided never to growing peaches/nectarines/cherries/kiwi fruit again.
They need too much care - peaches & nectarines succumb to peach leaf curl unless they're kept out of the rain and, when they do fruit the squirrels/birds take them.
Cherries = birds and netting a tree, whatever its size isn't easy.
Kiwis are just rampant thugs.

As for the rest, plums take a few years to fruit, my greengage has never fruited.
Apples are the most reliable, followed by pears.
Don't believe the fake pictures of tons of fruit on a Minarette fruit tree.
Some dwarf trees have dwarf fruit that isn't worth eating - found that out with a dwarf peach.