Funny gardening stories

This morning chatting over the fence with the neighbour. He was tell me he’d sown all the seeds I’d given him. Squeezed them in every where and it’s going to look like a patch work quilt when they all come up. I reassured him, that was perfectly acceptable method of gardening. Then I enquired if he’d worked out what the unusual leaved tomato was. That he’d mentioned to me a few days ago. He scampered off to the greenhouse to pick a leaf. Hands it over to me……..
That’s a sunflower, sweetheart. Very quickly followed be me laughing…….. a lot   . 
Him saying how did they get there? Then remembered planting them. Then saying don’t tell Bob. I was still laughing at him   . 

Let’s hear your stories.

So that's the neighbour you're offloading your seeds on.

I was in Morries yesterday afternoon, looking at the marked down plants and flowers. One of the regular cheapskates was there and I suggested that he should buy a bouquet of flowers for someone (don't know whether he's still married or not). He wasn't impressed, not even by the 35p carnations. Anyway, we started talking about plants and he said that he'd heard on the radio that there are 9 types of the plant you paint the walls with!
"I have no idea what you're talking about" says I.
So he started mumbling "mmmmmmmm, mmmmmmaaaa??"
Then the light dawned and I said "Magnolia!".
I couldn't stop laughing either.

We used to have weather forecasters living either side of us. Sadly now both demised. You would think they might have had some insider information. No.
In my younger ignorance I used to ask Pete about the weather. "Is it going to rain", "Is it going to stop raining?" His answer was usually "Yes". I was very naive so asked "When?". Pete always said "I've no idea, but it always has". I learnt not to ask when I figured out he used to rely on the TV weatherman for his information just like I did..