Festive Funnies
JJB Offline
Moonraker
#141
This one made me smile


My Wife the Gardener
~ Peter (poem in old magazine)

She dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
She forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
She planted roses Tuesday –
she says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but she quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess she really was engrossed –
she never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours she adores,
It never bothered her at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My wife can garden all she wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH THE SPADE
Gardening is an excuse not to do housework
Greetings from Salisbury
Qualified member of the Confused Nutter's Club 
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Veggie Offline
Super Pest Controller
#142
I can relate to that. Big Grin
The Moneyless Chicken says:- 
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
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SarrissUK Offline
Member
#143
haha that's how it is in my house too haha
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JJB Offline
Moonraker
#144
I thought it very appropriate to P & I, then thought 'how very sexist, put your own washing on' I think it might have been written in a different era Smile
Gardening is an excuse not to do housework
Greetings from Salisbury
Qualified member of the Confused Nutter's Club 
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Veggie Offline
Super Pest Controller
#145
Amended version. I wrote a different last line but thought I'd be banned.  Shy

He dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
He forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
He planted roses Tuesday –
He says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but he quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess he really was engrossed –
he never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours he adores,
It never bothered him at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My hsband can garden all he wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH MY HUSBAND and His SPADE 
The Moneyless Chicken says:- 
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
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Vinny Offline
Geordie living 'ower the watter'
#146
(08-08-2022, 12:11 PM)Veggie Wrote: Amended version. I wrote a different last line but thought I'd be banned.  Shy

He dug the plot on Monday –
the soil was rich and fine,
He forgot to thaw out dinner –
so we went out to dine...
He planted roses Tuesday –
He says they are a must,
They really are quite lovely
but he quite forgot to dust.
On Wednesday it was daisies –
they opened up with sun,
All whites and pinks and yellows –
but the laundry wasn’t done...
The poppies came on Thursday -
a bright and cherry red,
I guess he really was engrossed –
he never made the bed...
It was violets on Friday –
in colours he adores,
It never bothered him at all –
all crumbs upon the floors
I hired a maid on Saturday –
my week is now complete,
My hsband can garden all he wants –
the house will still be neat!
It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –
and I cannot find the maid,
Oh no! I don’t believe it!
She’s out there WITH MY HUSBAND and His SPADE 
I KNOW what I/you would have put and it would have been funnier though! Rolleyes Big Grin
"The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off"- Abe Lemons
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Veggie Offline
Super Pest Controller
#147
   
The Moneyless Chicken says:- 
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
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Vinny Offline
Geordie living 'ower the watter'
#148
Little Grey Fergie! Big Grin

https://youtu.be/glT7-7wayrM
"The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off"- Abe Lemons
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Veggie Offline
Super Pest Controller
#149
Now I know why you've grown your beard. Big Grin
The Moneyless Chicken says:- 
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.
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Vinny Offline
Geordie living 'ower the watter'
#150
(01-12-2022, 01:39 PM)Veggie Wrote: Now I know why you've grown your beard. Big Grin
Getting there,got a ways to go yet though! Rolleyes
"The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off"- Abe Lemons
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